There’s a new wave of outrage making its way across social media and comment threads, and this time it’s targeting a surprisingly mundane act: the bathroom selfie. Specifically, it’s transgender women taking selfies in public women’s restrooms. Critics, mostly TERFs (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) and so-called “gender critical” commentators, are framing this common act of self-expression as something sinister, even sexual.
Let me be clear. This entire argument is nonsense. As a transgender woman a few years into my transition, I don’t usually use public women’s restrooms myself. I still struggle with whether I “pass” enough to avoid conflict or judgment. But many of my transgender friends do use these spaces, and this article is for them. It’s for every trans woman who has dared to walk into a restroom, hold her head high, and take a photo that celebrates her presence. Because what’s really being targeted here isn’t behavior. It’s visibility. And that’s worth defending.
The Manufactured Panic Over Bathroom Selfies
We need to start with what this argument actually is and what it isn’t. The anti-trans claim goes something like this: if a transgender woman takes a selfie in a women’s restroom, it must be part of a fetish, a voyeuristic thrill, or a desire to dominate or invade women’s space.
This narrative collapses under even minimal scrutiny. Bathroom selfies have been part of cisgender women’s culture for decades. In clubs, malls, gyms, and restaurants, it’s completely normal for a group of friends, or someone on her own, to snap a mirror pic in a well-lit restroom. It’s practically a rite of passage.
The only difference when a trans woman does it is that some people can’t stand to see her there. That’s not about protecting women. It’s about punishing trans people for daring to be visible.
Why Bathroom Selfies Are About Joy, Not Voyeurism
To understand why so many trans women take selfies in women’s restrooms, you have to understand what it means to simply exist in one. For us, public bathrooms are not neutral ground. They are places where our safety, identity, and belonging are questioned.
Taking a selfie in a restroom isn’t about sexual gratification. It’s about a moment of peace and confidence. Maybe a trans woman just used a women’s room for the first time without incident. Maybe she caught herself in the mirror and liked what she saw. Maybe she’s never seen herself reflected like that before.
In a world that tells us to stay hidden, that kind of moment is revolutionary.
The Normalcy of Bathroom Selfies
To further dismantle the claim that something’s inherently wrong with bathroom selfies, let’s talk about why everyone takes them. And yes, I mean everyone.
Public bathrooms, particularly in places like restaurants, gyms, and coffee shops, often have better lighting than most bedrooms. They have large mirrors, often full-length, and a level of privacy that makes them ideal for a quick, confident photo.
When cisgender women take mirror selfies in these spaces, they’re praised, reposted, and made into trends. But what happens when a trans woman takes a mirror selfie? It’s framed as perversion. That double standard isn’t about selfies. It’s about who people think has the right to feel good in their own skin.
The “Fetish” Narrative: Nothing But a Smokescreen
It’s important to address the fetish accusation directly, because it’s often thrown around with zero evidence and maximum malice. It’s not a diagnosis. It’s a smear tactic.
Calling something a fetish is a quick and dirty way to make it sound shameful and dangerous. But in this context, it’s completely detached from reality. Taking a selfie in a public restroom is not erotic. It’s not deviant. It’s common. It’s routine.
What the accusation does do, however, is serve a strategic purpose. It allows transphobic activists to reframe visibility as perversion. It gives lawmakers cover to pass restrictive laws. It offers online trolls justification for harassment. And most of all, it reinforces the myth that trans women are somehow always a threat, just for existing.
The Real-World Danger Behind These Accusations
Let’s not pretend this is just a bad-faith opinion floating harmlessly online. The harm is real, and it lands on real people.
Trans women who share a bathroom selfie, even a completely benign one, often face immediate, targeted harassment. These are not just nasty comments. They’re coordinated attacks meant to humiliate, silence, and erase.
What starts with a tweet often leads to:
- Having your photo reposted with hateful captions
- Being misgendered, mocked, and publicly shamed
- Having your workplace contacted
- Receiving threats of violence or sexual assault
- Being doxxed or outed
It doesn’t stop there. These mobs often tag employers, schools, or businesses. They attempt to get women banned from public spaces or fired from their jobs, all for sharing a picture in a mirror.
These actions are not about protecting anyone. They are about asserting dominance. They are about punishing trans people for being visible, confident, and unapologetic.
How Social Media Harassment Amplifies the Danger
Social media has become one of the primary battlegrounds for anti-trans outrage campaigns, and bathroom selfies are just the latest ammunition. These attacks are fast-moving and devastating—and they often rely on platforms looking the other way.
TERF and gender-critical accounts frequently screenshot images posted by trans women and re-share them with inflammatory captions. Even when these photos show nothing more than someone smiling in a mirror, they are framed as “evidence” of perversion or intrusion.
These accounts often use hashtags to amplify the post to like-minded followers. Once the mob forms, it escalates quickly. People dig into the woman’s personal life, post her home city, harass her employer, and encourage others to do the same. In some cases, her image ends up on hate forums or becomes the subject of ongoing mockery across platforms.
The emotional toll of this harassment can’t be overstated. It leads to anxiety, isolation, depression, and even self-harm. And while tech companies claim to moderate hate speech, they often allow these posts to stay up for days or weeks, if not indefinitely.
The damage lingers long after the thread dies down.
The “Cis Discomfort” Argument Doesn’t Hold Water
One of the fallback justifications for targeting trans women in bathrooms is the idea that cisgender women might feel uncomfortable. But discomfort is not danger. Everyone is entitled to their feelings. But no one is entitled to deny someone else’s right to use a public restroom based on a personal reaction.
Trans women are not predators. There is no data showing that we pose a threat in restrooms. In fact, we are more likely to be harassed or assaulted than to harm anyone.
And let’s be honest, much of the discomfort people claim to feel is learned. It’s the result of years of anti-trans propaganda. It’s fear, not fact.
Public spaces don’t belong to any one kind of woman. They belong to all of us.
A Personal Perspective
I want to be honest about where I’m coming from. I don’t use women’s public restrooms regularly. Not because I don’t believe I am entitled to, but because I’m still early in my transition, and I don’t always feel safe. I worry that someone will decide I don’t “pass” enough, or worse, will try to police me.
So I plan around it. I look for single-stall options. I hold it if I have to. I make sacrifices every day that cis women never think twice about.
But I watch my friends, trans women who are bolder or simply further along, and I admire them. I see their selfies. I see their smiles. I see what it means to them to simply exist in that space and be okay.
One day, I hope to be there too.
How to Take a Great Bathroom Selfie (and Feel Good Doing It)
In a world where something as simple as a mirror photo can spark controversy, taking a bathroom selfie as a trans woman can feel like an act of quiet defiance. But it doesn’t have to be about making a statement. Sometimes, it’s just about loving how you look—and capturing that moment unapologetically.
If you’ve ever wanted to take a bathroom selfie but hesitated, here’s your guide to doing it with confidence, style, and zero shame.
- Check the Lighting: Bathroom lighting can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. Soft overhead lighting or bright vanity lights tend to be the most flattering. Step a little closer to the mirror or adjust your angle until you find the sweet spot—where your skin tone looks even and your eyes catch a little sparkle.
- Know Your Angles: Hold your phone slightly above eye level and tilt your head gently—never too forced. Experiment with different poses: over-the-shoulder glances, direct eye contact, or that casual mid-lipstick check-in. Don’t be afraid to play. This is about celebrating you.
- Be Aware of Backgrounds: Quickly glance at what’s in the background. Paper towels on the floor? Stall doors ajar? A simple shift in position can help frame your shot and keep the focus on you, not the plumbing.
- Use Your Outfit or Makeup as a Cue: Just nailed your eyeliner or feel good in your new dress? That’s your moment. Bathroom selfies often reflect milestones in gender affirmation, new styles, new confidence, or just a good hair day. Document it.
- Go Natural or Add Filters: There’s no shame in throwing on a flattering filter or using a favorite editing app. Whether you keep it raw or polish it up, your selfie is yours. Post it because you want to—not because you feel like you have to prove anything.
- Practice Makes Power: You don’t owe anyone a perfect photo. Take a few shots, delete what doesn’t work, and keep what makes you smile. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And the less the noise from outside matters.
- Bathroom selfies don’t belong to anyone else’s narrative. They’re yours. They’re about that split second when you catch yourself in the mirror and feel good—maybe even beautiful. So take the photo. Own the light. You deserve to see yourself shine.
To Every Trans Woman Who’s Taken a Bathroom Selfie
You are not a fetish. You are not a threat. You are not an invader.
You are a woman who caught a glimpse of herself and liked what she saw. A woman who felt safe enough, if only for a moment, to take up space. Your bathroom selfie is not a scandal. It is a celebration. It says, “I belong here.” And you do.
Don’t let the noise make you shrink. Don’t let the lies make you doubt yourself. You are doing what women have always done in front of a mirror: checking in, touching up, and maybe snapping a photo when you feel good.
You’re not just surviving. You’re showing the rest of us what courage looks like.
The Bottom Line
The panic about bathroom selfies is not about bathrooms. It’s not about safety. It’s not about women’s rights. It’s about control.
When cis women post a mirror pic, it’s trendy. When trans women do it, it’s political. That double standard tells you everything you need to know.
So if you are a trans woman taking selfies in bathrooms, keep going. You are not the problem. You are the reason more of us are starting to believe we can be seen too.
And one day, when I’m ready, I’ll take that selfie with you.
