Open the news on any given day, and it feels like the world is on fire. Stories of political chaos, violence, and tragedy stream across our screens, while social media algorithms magnify outrage until it drowns out everything else. For transgender individuals, the experience can be even heavier. News about anti-trans legislation, hate crimes, and online harassment often feels relentless.
When I started TransVitae.com, my goal was simple: to build a space where our community could find news, resources, and solidarity. I wanted to amplify hope and belonging. But I quickly discovered something I hadn’t fully grasped before: the sheer volume of negativity targeted at us. Every week seemed to bring another bill threatening our rights, another hateful speech, another headline about violence against one of our own.
At times, the weight of it all threatened to pull me into a dark place. But over the years, I’ve learned strategies, both personal and communal, for staying grounded and positive, even when the world seems designed to break us down. This article is about those lessons and about how we can choose light even when surrounded by shadows.
Why Negativity Feels So Heavy
Negativity doesn’t just feel bad. It impacts us on every level. Psychologists explain that humans have what’s called a negativity bias: our brains latch onto bad news more strongly than good news. From an evolutionary perspective, this once kept us alive. Noticing danger mattered more than savoring joy. But in today’s digital world, this bias gets exploited.
News outlets survive on clicks, and nothing drives clicks like outrage. Social platforms thrive on engagement, and few things engage people more than anger. For transgender people, that often means we’re fed an endless stream of “look how much they hate you” content. It can leave us feeling isolated, hopeless, and defeated.
But here’s the truth: while negativity might grab our attention, positivity is what sustains us. When we intentionally focus on uplifting people, supportive communities, and moments of joy, we’re not ignoring reality. We’re building resilience to face it.
I also believe in the power of attraction. The energy we put into the world shapes what comes back to us. If I constantly sink into anger and despair, that cycle of negativity grows stronger. But if I surround myself with good people, share kindness, and seek inspiration, I help put good into the universe. That doesn’t mean ignoring pain or injustice. It means refusing to let them define my reality. By keeping good around me, I’m not just protecting myself. I’m contributing to the possibility of better days ahead.
The Struggle of Building TransVitae.com
When I founded TransVitae.com, I imagined it as a positive outlet. What I didn’t anticipate was how difficult it would be, personally, to engage with so much heavy news every day.
Covering stories of anti-trans laws, deaths in our community, and acts of hatred is necessary. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. But immersing myself in that cycle tested my spirit. There were days when I wanted to shut it all down, to stop reading the reports and close myself off from the pain.
What kept me going were the people around me: the friends, mentors, and community members who reminded me why I started this work. They shared stories of hope, resilience, and everyday triumphs. They showed me that positivity isn’t denial. It’s survival. It’s choosing to shine a light so others can find their way through the dark.
The Gift of People Who Uplift
If there is one lesson I’ve learned, it’s that people can be lifelines. Two people in particular have been shining lights in my life and have made all the difference in how I view positivity.
The first is my best friend, Diane. We met three years ago and connected the very minute we started talking. She is one of the most beautiful people I have ever known, inside and out. Even though she was born the same year I graduated high school, she has taught me so much about myself. Her influence has been constant, helping me stay positive even when the world feels like it’s unraveling. Diane has been there for me in every way imaginable, but what I am most grateful for is how she mentored me through my transition. She knows me so well that she can sense when something is bothering me, and when she does, she drops everything to reach out. Every time we talk, I walk away smiling with a renewed outlook on whatever I was struggling with. Diane has shown me that true friendship is not bound by years but by the power of connection and love.
The second is someone newer to my life but no less important: Sarah. In just a few months, she has become such a positive presence that I can’t imagine my days without her influence. Early on, she trusted me with personal things, and that trust told me immediately that our connection was real. Our long conversations are always fun, uplifting, and filled with genuine care. I’ve joked that I can talk endlessly, and it’s true, but Sarah has a way of listening that makes me feel heard in the deepest sense. She doesn’t just hear words, she truly listens, cares, and remembers. That kind of attention and sincerity is rare. Sarah, thank you for showing me what positivity and hope look like in action. You’ve been a shining light in my life, and I am grateful for you.
These two women remind me that the world is not just full of chaos and cruelty. It is also full of beauty, love, and connection. They are living proof of the power of surrounding yourself with people who radiate positivity, and I carry their energy with me every day.
Finding Gratitude in the Small Things
Gratitude is one of the simplest and most powerful tools for staying positive. I learned that even on the hardest days, I could take stock of what was still good in my life.
- The friends who checked in on me
- The readers who wrote messages of thanks
- The quiet mornings spent writing with coffee by my side
When negativity looms, it’s easy to overlook these moments. But pausing to notice them shifts perspective. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain, but it places it in context. It reminds us that even in a world filled with cruelty, kindness still exists, and often, it exists closer than we realize.
Positivity Does Not Mean Isolation
For me, part of surviving has meant retreating into solitude at times. Writing, reflecting, and following my daily routine have been anchors. Yet isolation can’t be the whole answer.
Positivity grows in community. Every time we connect with people who uplift us, we recharge. The laughter of friends, the encouragement of peers, and the quiet solidarity of someone who understands: these are forms of resistance.
That’s why I choose to focus on the wonderful people in my life, even when the headlines scream otherwise. They remind me that the world is not defined only by the loudest voices of hate. It’s also shaped by the countless acts of love, support, and courage that never make it into the news cycle.
Strategies for Staying Positive
- Control the Media You Consume: You don’t have to read every article or scroll endlessly through negativity. Curate your feeds. Follow accounts that inspire. Balance news about struggles with stories of joy, creativity, and resilience.
- Anchor Yourself in Routine: A daily routine creates structure when the world feels chaotic. For me, writing and exercising are essential. For others, it may be meditation, cooking, or taking walks. These small rituals become lifelines.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Not every victory has to be monumental. Passing a local nondiscrimination ordinance, supporting a friend through a hard day, or even just showing up authentically can be celebrated.
- Stay Connected to Uplifting People: Find your circle: the ones who remind you of your worth, share your inspirations, and lift your spirits. Lean on them. And be that person for someone else.
- Practice Gratitude: Keep a journal. End each day by naming three things you’re grateful for. Gratitude trains the brain to see possibility where it once saw only despair.
The Role of Community Media
Part of why I keep TransVitae.com going is because I believe representation matters. When mainstream media only covers our pain, community-driven outlets can amplify our joy.
We can report on the harm while also spotlighting the artists, athletes, leaders, and everyday trans people thriving despite it all. We can remind each other that we are not just survivors of hate. We are creators of beauty.
This balance is essential. If all we see is negativity, despair wins. But if we choose to highlight resilience, then hope spreads. Community media like ours becomes more than a news source. It becomes a lifeline.
Living with Both Realities
Here’s the truth: positivity doesn’t mean pretending the bad things aren’t happening. I can’t and won’t ignore the legislation, the violence, or the hate. But I can choose what I focus on most.
Yes, we live in a world that often feels hostile to us. But we also live in a world where trans joy exists. Where friendships deepen. Where sunsets light the sky in colors that remind us of possibility. Where our voices and stories matter.
The challenge is holding both realities at once: acknowledging the harm while leaning into the hope. This is not naïve optimism. It is survival.
Choosing Light, Every Day
When negativity threatens to overwhelm, I remind myself why I began this journey. I didn’t start TransVitae.com to despair over the state of the world. I started it to build something stronger, to give my community a place of belonging, and to remind us all that we deserve joy.
I can’t control what headlines appear tomorrow. But I can control how I respond. I can choose gratitude. I can choose connection. I can choose to focus on the people and stories that make me want to keep going.
Staying positive is not about ignoring the darkness. It’s about refusing to let it define us. It’s about finding and creating light every single day.
The Bottom Line
The world will keep trying to drag us down. It will keep serving up negativity designed to make us angry, hopeless, or afraid. But we are not powerless. We can choose what we focus on. We can choose gratitude. We can choose community. We can choose joy.
When I think about what makes this possible for me, two people immediately come to mind. Diane, my best friend, has been a steady light for the past three years. She knows me so well that she can sense when something is wrong and always shows up when I need her most. Every conversation with her leaves me smiling, lighter, and ready to face the world again. And then there is Sarah, who may be newer to my life but has already filled it with positivity and hope. Her trust, her ability to listen, and her genuine care remind me daily that connection can transform everything.
As I look at Diane, Sarah, and all of the wonderful people who inspire me, uplift me, and walk with me through both solitude and connection, I am reminded that staying positive is not just possible. It is necessary. It is what keeps us alive, and what allows us to keep fighting for a world where every transgender person can thrive.
Because at the end of the day, even in the face of so much negativity, we still hold the power to choose light. And sometimes, that light shines brightest in the people we are lucky enough to call our friends.
