Spend a few minutes on social media after any positive news about transgender people, and you’ll quickly notice a pattern: the replies fill up with vitriol from TERFs, gender-critical activists, and assorted anti-trans voices. It doesn’t matter if the article celebrates a judge’s accomplishments, a young athlete’s success, or a new policy protecting basic rights. The same cast of detractors arrives, eager to remind the world of their obsession.
Yesterday, TransVitae published an uplifting article about Dr. Victoria McCloud, Britain’s first openly transgender judge, challenging how UK courts define sex. It was meant to be a positive story about courage, visibility, and progress. Yet when the article was shared on social media, detractors piled in, revealing something important: transgender lives are the centerpiece of their conversations, their outrage, and even their careers.
This article explores why trans people live rent-free in TERFs’ heads, how our community’s visibility has shaped culture, and why this obsession says more about them than it does about us.
The Pattern of Obsession
When looking at the replies to my tweet about this story, or to nearly any online post about transgender individuals, you’ll see hostility presented as “reasoned debate.” Commenters often insist they are “just asking questions” or “defending women’s rights,” but the sheer volume and consistency of their responses reveal a deeper truth: they cannot stop thinking about trans people.
From professional athletes to fashion models to everyday citizens simply existing, transgender individuals have become a focal point of outrage for people who once ignored us. Our lives, choices, and existence dominate their timelines and talking points.
This obsession manifests in predictable ways:
- Hijacking conversations. Even when the topic is unrelated to sports or medicine, detractors drag the discussion back to those areas, repeating the same claims endlessly.
- Performative outrage. They treat every trans achievement, no matter how ordinary, as an existential threat to society.
- Constant surveillance. Trans public figures are scrutinized more intensely than celebrities, with every choice framed as proof of some grand conspiracy.
Rent Free: What That Really Means
The phrase “living rent free” describes how someone occupies another’s mind without effort. Transgender people do not wake up each morning plotting ways to disrupt the lives of TERFs. Instead, we wake up trying to go to work, pay bills, fall in love, chase dreams, and survive.
Meanwhile, our existence consumes hours of their energy daily. They write posts, craft petitions, attend rallies, create YouTube channels, and build entire organizations around opposing us.
Consider this:
- Riley Gaines, who placed fifth in a race behind Lia Thomas, has made a full-time career out of criticizing trans women in sports. One fifth-place finish turned into a speaking tour, media appearances, and political activism.
- Detransitioners, who represent a tiny minority of those who undergo gender transition, have become prized speakers for conservative lawmakers. They are paraded around state legislatures as props to justify stripping away healthcare for everyone else.
- Anti-trans influencers make revenue through clicks, donations, and merchandise by constantly recycling outrage about drag queens, athletes, or medical care.
In all cases, trans people’s lives are the foundation upon which these careers are built. Without us, their platforms would collapse.
The Sports Industry of Outrage
Nothing highlights this obsession more clearly than sports. For years, transgender athletes have been lightning rods for controversy, despite their relatively small numbers.
- Lia Thomas, a collegiate swimmer, became a household name not because she dominated her sport, her record is strong but not earth-shattering, but because her participation alone was treated as a cultural crisis.
- Critics like Riley Gaines have capitalized on this, using a single event to build a national presence. Gaines has testified before Congress, spoken at conservative conferences, and aligned herself with politicians whose interest in women’s sports begins and ends with attacking trans people.
Ironically, this constant fixation has given transgender athletes more visibility than they might otherwise have had. Entire clothing brands, media outlets, and social movements have sprouted from both the support and opposition surrounding trans inclusion in sports.
When you peel back the outrage, it becomes clear: transgender athletes are not destroying sports. They are keeping sports relevant in an era when fewer people watch traditional competitions. For TERFs, sports have become a stage where they can rehearse their larger anti-trans arguments, ensuring that trans people remain the centerpiece of their activism.
Careers Built on Fear
The same pattern extends beyond athletics. A handful of detransitioners, people who stop or reverse medical transition, have been elevated to celebrity status by conservative politicians.
While detransition is real, it is statistically rare and often temporary. Many detransitioners later retransition once they regain access to supportive care. Yet, those few who publicly speak against transition are granted disproportionate platforms. They are flown across the country to appear at press conferences, testify in hearings, and star in campaign ads.
Their personal stories are weaponized to suggest that all transgender healthcare is dangerous, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. In effect, detransitioners are paid to serve as avatars for policies that harm thousands of trans youth and adults.
Once again, the central fact remains: without transgender people, these careers could not exist. Our lives, our existence, are their content.
Fashion, Culture, and the Ripple Effect
Beyond politics, trans visibility has fueled cultural movements that even our detractors cannot escape. Fashion brands, ad campaigns, and entire aesthetic trends have emerged in response to transgender people’s participation in public life.
Consider how brands have capitalized on the media frenzy around trans athletes. Clothing lines promoting “fairness in women’s sports” have popped up, not because there was demand for them before, but because trans inclusion created a new market. Even those profiting from opposition are still, ironically, benefiting from transgender existence.
Meanwhile, major fashion houses, film studios, and music labels have embraced trans icons as models, actors, and creators. The backlash only increases visibility. Every attempt to silence trans joy ends up amplifying it.
The Cost to Our Community
Of course, none of this is easy for transgender people themselves. Living under constant scrutiny takes a toll. Online harassment, public misinformation campaigns, and legislative attacks compound the everyday struggles of navigating jobs, housing, healthcare, and relationships.
Every time a TERF account goes viral, thousands of trans people see their humanity debated in real time. Every time a politician cites a detransitioner, young trans kids hear that their identities are political bargaining chips. The obsession with us has consequences.
That is why it is important to call out this fixation for what it is: unhealthy, parasitic, and revealing of deeper insecurities among those who cannot stop talking about us.
Why the Obsession?
So why do trans people live rent-free in TERFs’ heads? The answer lies in fear and projection.
- Fear of change. Trans people represent a shift away from rigid gender norms. For those who built their identities around those norms, our existence feels destabilizing.
- Projection of insecurity. Many detractors claim to “protect women” while simultaneously aligning with politicians who strip away reproductive rights. Their attacks on trans people mask contradictions in their own movements.
- Community-building. For TERFs and gender-critical activists, transphobia provides social glue. Their communities thrive on shared outrage, bonding over their opposition to us.
In short, they need us. Without transgender people, their movements lose fuel.
Living Our Lives Anyway
The most powerful response to this obsession is simple: living our lives authentically. Every joyful moment, every career milestone, and every family built in love undermines their narrative that trans people are tragic or dangerous.
We see this every day:
- Trans professionals succeeding in medicine, law, and politics.
- Trans athletes competing with integrity and pride.
- Trans artists reshaping culture and inspiring new generations.
We do not exist for them, yet they cannot exist without us.
Reframing the Conversation
For transgender people and our allies, it is important to reframe the constant negativity. Instead of letting detractors define us by their outrage, we can point out the absurdity of their fixation.
- When they swarm an article celebrating a trans judge, it shows they cannot stand trans people holding power.
- When they build careers off one swim race, it shows how little substance their arguments actually have.
- When they elevate detransitioners, it shows how desperate they are to find any story that justifies their crusade.
By highlighting the obsession itself, we reveal the hollowness of their movement.
Empathy for the Obsessed?
It may seem strange, but there is room for empathy, even for those who attack us. The hours they spend railing against us are hours not spent building joy in their own lives. Their identities are chained to resentment. They scroll, post, and argue because it gives them a sense of purpose, even if that purpose is built on hating others.
In this way, trans people can feel a certain pity for them. While we struggle for rights, healthcare, and safety, we also build communities of love and resilience. They, on the other hand, are left with bitterness.
The irony is undeniable: they think we threaten their existence, yet they cannot exist without us.
The Bottom Line
The latest reaction to Dr. Victoria McCloud’s story is just one more example in a long line of proof: transgender people live rent-free in TERFs’ heads. From athletes to judges to everyday citizens, our lives provide endless fuel for their movements, their careers, and their outrage.
But here’s the truth: we do not owe them rent. We owe them nothing at all. Our lives are ours to live, and every step forward, every victory, every celebration, reminds the world that we are here to stay.
As trans people, our best response is to keep living, keep thriving, and keep building joy. Because no matter how loudly they shout, their obsession only proves one thing: we matter.
